OK Jessica, here's a follow up to your follow up question a few days ago.
You are worried that you are too skeptical for faith. You say
"Is it possible to be too skeptical for faith?More than anything I believe
in the tangible. This is where I run into trouble with religion, and
faith."
Well to answer your question to the best of my ability.... is I don't know, that's up to you... But what I do know is that God gave us something tangible... His word.. the bible. As the verse above states... If you abide in His word the truth will set you free... Free from the bondage of sin. He also gave us His son... as well as the Holy Spirit, but that's another topic.
There are many things that you don't consider "wrong" that the bible specifically states otherwise. (side note: I do happen to agree with you on that one thing, I think that God is all for capital punishment as there are many times in the bible that its stated "was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD killed him")
You don't have the same "moral code" as you put it.. as most Christians. In my posts a few days ago I talked about God being the boss. I personally know that letting God set the rules... instead of me setting the rules for my life is a better idea. When you decide your own moral compass you are doing it based only on the limited knowledge that you have. The thought of that seems rather scary to me.
You mention one of your "flaws" to be tolerance..... While your other "flaws or lack thereof" I consider to be sin ... sins I myself am in daily need of grace for. Tolerance is not something that Christians are called to... at least not the way that it is defined today. Yes we are to be kind to others.. but that does not mean that we are to let every evil thing flourish and parade itself around without saying something.
Romans 12:1-2 - I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
See that verse seems to say the opposite of what "tolerance" seems to mean. God wants us to be transformed by doing His perfect will and not what the "world" seems to thing is OK.
You mentioned that you felt "deceitful/fake" attending church... and once you stopped you felt better.... I think what you felt was your heart being convicted... and of course you felt better after you were not being convicted of your sin anymore. I think the issue that you are having trouble with is your heart. The bible says
Romans 10:9,10,13 ~ that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”
While you state that you tried confessing with your mouth.... it felt false. Its because words are not enough. The bible states these things about your heart....
Ezekiel 11:19-20 - Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh,that they may walk in My statutes and keep My judgments and do them; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God.
Deuteronomy 30:6 - And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.
You said "so now what"... Now its up to you, Do you want to believe with your heart? To let God circumcise your heart, to cut away all the things that HE deems to be sins. To trust in the fact that not only does He exist but that Hes all knowing too. To let Him, the bible & the Holy spirit guide your heart and therefore your life. Are you willing to give up the control? I saw this quote today and thought it to be a rather helpful picture for this.
There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will
be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.'~ C. S.
Lewis (1898 - 1963)
Well ....there is more to think about, I am happy to talk to you more if you like, or if you have more questions please ask them. Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"....
Everyone is a sinner, me especially, but God has forgiven me because I have acknowledged it, repented, asked forgiveness and desire in my heart to do His will. Daily I press on with His help. Daily I am reminded of and rewarded with His grace.
~Lynn
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